Chap. 4 - the desert, Original Outline 8/12

This rough pass through the desert scene was first drafted in the summer of 2012. Usual rough draft style consists of a form of "automatic writing" that may extend about 20-40 min. During the next stage, basic typos and grammar are corrected while several details are flushed out more. Eventually a rough draft is formed (usually too literal or heavy-handed). The most important aspect of generating larger scenes is structure. Once a structure of a scene is known, it is easier to determine how or "if" it will work with the initial interface we had in mind for the chapter. An example of this is the POV "eye open/eye close" interface we had for chapter 1. The original script called for an introduction that occasionally had flashbacks where imagery entered the internal world of text. Programming on the interface would not easily allow for the same interface transition between video of an external world and video of an internal world. It is easier to transition between planes of text and planes of video. Therefore, the part of the script calling for video flashback internally may have to move to other spaces of the project where a transition from a thought in plain text could naturally occur. Edits to writing and project mapping like this occasionally interrupt how the narrative has been previously mapped out. In this case, getting rid of this internal world visual flashback would fail to act as a device that foreshadows future chapters and establishes the visual potential of the internal world from the get go. I am concerned that the reader will not have this early clue in the first chapter to ground the character's memories that play such a strong role throughout the novel.

The draft below takes place in James' mind. Months after this draft I have commented on it in red below. It is the idealized type of interaction he wishes he could have with Luke. The atmosphere is a conflated space between past and present. Luke, like the landscape (hills of Southcall + Zakho Iraqui) is both a past/present version of himself as James has remembered or experienced him. This is why we have elected to film this scene in 3rd person. To show James imagining his own role in the fantasy of their interaction. Now that the characters have legitimately evolved from this early version, it will be interesting to see the comparison between the final script and this one. Several notes exist where I address Danny or keep formal records to help myself remember and process the material.

Chap. 4 - The desert. Story Archive, main purpose

This post will begin the process of making the creation of the desert scene visible from what existed of its conception as of Summer 2012 to its final shooting script. At a later date I will also post what notes remain of the evolution of Chap.1


These are Author's Notes taken from a document I made for myself in Oct. 2012 and commented with story progression as of April 19th. I will use these notes and reflections to help block out the new iteration of this scene.

Filming Chap 1&2: Lessons Learned: Cinema Production Conventions at Odds with Our Form.

Danny's POV rig for canon 7D

Just wrapped on the first fast-paced weekend on the set of Penumbra . Our first shoot was a product of many factors including time constraints and the effort to find what works using experimental methods. A constant question we struggled with was the polish of POV. It is hard to get right, to feel "authentic" as a frame of vision (especially when filmed in portrait). Often it reads as amateur; however, in viewing the footage on the device it was intended for (the ipad) it somehow feels more appropriate than simply reviewing it on the laptop screen. This shouldn't be surprising, but I am still working on accurately articulating why this is. The tangible quality of holding and manipulating the device seems to ground the footage in a way that viewing it in post on a laptop screen doesn't. All in all, this makes editing and choosing footage from a laptop screen feel a bit disconnected from the final form. Should one keep building the app with new footage, each time a clip needs to be scanned for it's usability? This method would be time consuming. 

Selecting "good" footage is not influenced by the structure of its playback, but also by the hurdles in its creation: what can we salvage from a shoot that didn't go as anticipated? Now is the time to regroup and reconsider our approach. Therefore, the final version of the first two chapters of Penumbra will end up looking completely different than their scripts, drafts and planning notes. On paper they worked but when edited in light of our form and project structure. . . the conventional structure of the script paired with POV made the material feel too heavy. It will be interesting to see what material will be kept from this shoot. I suspect my next posts about Chap. 1 & 2 will be about our strategy forward rather than an analysis of past hurdles. There were two hurdles that have shaped how we edit the first two chapters. These hurdles are large influences because they inevitably will force us to reshape and reconsider our interface to accentuate the strengths of the footage.

There are two reasons we must reconsider the footage and our interface

1. Writing Conventions of Standard Cinematic Dialog at Odds with our Form

2.  Challenges of Acting for POV and Role Fit.

First Post/Post Casting/Pre Script

First post. I am writing this blog as a working chronicle of all production aspects of Penumbra (working title). The goal is to better understand what the project is and how it may resonate as a cultural object through the process of its own creation and written reflection on that process. Eventually and additionally, I would also like to chronicle/expose the "nuts and bolts" of how two independent artists may operate or work within a proprietry or closed system: specifically Apple's App Economy. This project is an entirely separate (yet companion) piece to the work itself. This blog will cover a range of aspects relevant to the project ranging from theoretical implications to practical distribution challenges. The end desire is to be transparent about our process, help produce a fertile and reciprocal loop of reflection/creation, and potentially serve as a resource for other artists interested in DIY Digital Publishing in the App Economy.

This is the first post, but in reality, I probably should have been doing this for the last formative years of the project. I am especially interested in chronicling how we have pushed the boundaries of our comfort zones. This treading into new territory is especially useful as it allows us to better understand where/how we have modified the project due to inexperience, failure or experimentation. From here on out, I will try to be as faithful to failure as possible.
There are many debates we have had over the "shiny topics" of interface/design/interaction and the like. These debates will certainly surface. However, this blog will likely reflect more of my current project: fine-tuning and writing the remaining content. Since writing and technology intimately inform each other, those subjects will not be far away. But, now it is time to focus on the "writerly" aspects of the project such as voice & character. Much of the writing done after May will attempt to capture the voice of the protagonist that our readers experience through his POV and thoughts. The readers are a "privileged guest" in his mind. Many of the challenges that arise will evince that my writing style is completely different than the natural voice of the character I am writing for. I am intrigued by the overlap of this challenge from the traditional print world with the challenge of writing for/with/in digital interfaces from the digital literature realm (a realm that seems largely niche unto itself and is still unfamiliar in print circuits)

Typically, I practice "free writes" that evolve into short edited pieces that are fretted over in close poetic absorption with the placement and appropriateness of each character. Paradoxically, this project goes against both inclinations. In industry publishing (the rate of technological change and platform evolution) I don't have NEARLY as much time as I would like to spend on fretting over editing. However, I can also not write as loose and freeform as I am custom to in the initial stages of a text: interface constraints often demand that writing needs to be minimal, dialog needs to be controlled. I’m sure when we get on set next week for our first shoot, things will take a life of their own and the original scripts will have to be abandoned (part practicality, part sense of the moment). But, I’m doing my best in trying to corral these characters. Of course, they have elaborate backstories and every part of the project has been carefully mapped out. We’ve spent a long time building their world to get to this point. Yet, in reality, the audience/readership may only pick up on 25% percent of this. As a creator of this, I have to be fine with this. I think I am. The idea is that it informs the rest of how the narrative unfolds (however speculative, however winding). Working with media, I’ve become accustomed and comfortable in the inevitability of loss.

Read more for Casting the Protagonist, James.

Rough drafts of the opening scenes are due today to my project advisor Mary Sweeney. I am very thankful for Mary and how she is helping me flesh out the characters and backstory. This element will definitely steep into the design and project functionality as well. Mary is an ideal mentor since much of the story has to do with the uncertainty of memories, longing and dream states. I feel most comfortable as a writer when I enter into a state of “flow” or when I am able to absorb material and mimicking its tone. This exercise is unlike anything I’ve ever done. I am trying to get “close” to industry formatting, but I know in the real world my script would not fly. It doesn't adhere to conventions, but perhaps it should't. It sits somewhere between spec script and shooting script and aims to describe to both myself and Danny how I visualize blocking (since I primarily write from visual flashes). Since I promised to be fair to failure, I will probably post the first run of this scene at a later date.

The realities of production and the loss that it sometimes promotes isn't entirely a loss. At times, it can be a gain because of the way it roots me in the characters and teaches me to ache for them in the way I need to if we are to channel something human and lasting in a very distracting market of apps. This is the challenge, and potential impossibility, that I love. It has the potential to fail so spectacularly, but hopefully succeed well. It’s a question, I think, why have we spent the last two years of our life on potential failure? I think it is because we believe in what we are doing and hope that it can be a dent in exploding the novel or the kinds of work (gimmicks, simple emulations of print on screen) we saw produced in the early stages of the literary app market/ipad release.  Of course it is always disheartening when larger teams are able to get something that is closer to what we hoped out before us (we are both currently full-time graduate students), but we just have to have faith in our project/process and believe in the value of the exercise.

I've sat with James as he evolved for at least a year. Casting him was no small feat. We just went through a very difficult week of casting. It was the first time that both of us had engaged in this process and we had over 600 people reply. I want to write a separate post on the process and why it felt both dehumanizing and illuminating. I think there is something there to explore.

We finally picked our James: the identity that is the cornerstone for the whole experiment. Fortunately, he was an unanimous pick for the both of us. He has both the look and quiet intensity to carry the character and emotional register forward. We have such a tight/rushed schedule (we start shooting next weekend!), but I think I feel very good about this choice. It was so great to hear him read some of the more poetic passages that James speaks in his internal world. It was the first time I’ve ever listened to someone else reading my writing. At that moment, the character became more real for me.