Chap. 4 - The desert. Story Archive, main purpose

This post will begin the process of making the creation of the desert scene visible from what existed of its conception as of Summer 2012 to its final shooting script. At a later date I will also post what notes remain of the evolution of Chap.1


These are Author's Notes taken from a document I made for myself in Oct. 2012 and commented with story progression as of April 19th. I will use these notes and reflections to help block out the new iteration of this scene.



Main Purpose:

Main reveal: some more elements of character motivation.
Show Jame's guilt and ultimate reconciliation with himself through the conflation of wish and memory. Reveal more about the relationship between Jesse, Luke, James.
Reveal the deep undercurrents of Jame's psyche and self torture that he's imposed on himself (and why)
tinge with forgiveness symbolized by the exchange of the book and the mask.

The desert scene is a conflation between memory and fiction.  It is the imaginary talk in Jame’s mind where he is absolved of some of his guilt.  He returns from the desert pilgrimage to the literal/symbolic demolition of his guilt and negative aspects in his relationship.
The end is a bit open ended.  Does he walk back down the bridge to solid land after the reconciliation, or is it hinted that he is caught in the premature explosion on the bridge(brought about by the details he missed seeing) and this decides his fate.  Does he reach peace with the cyclical ending (hints of explosion match bunker scene).  As he felt it “should have been him” all along?  Did he put himself up to this ending, or was it Luke all along pulling the shots.  Either way, there is a sense of closure and redemption.

current commentary on the above

I'm always battling with the melodrama of the subject matter and figuring out places to suggest/show rather than tell as one way to tone it down. However these themes and expressions of trauma were one avenue that could help settle a foundation for a project that is at its essence a character study and offer rich territory for exploring internal interfaces the way we hope to. I definitely don't want to treat the subjects lightly or exploit the terrible atrocities the characters have gone through. In many ways telling the very internal aspects of a war story (internal life of PTSD-which I feel great compassion for) is a good expression of the shades of memory we are trying to reach/represent in this form. Much of the earlier backstory to the climax, and still many current aspects, are supported by lots of history reading/research. Almost 70% of backstory/context will never make it in, but I hope it will inform the emotional tone and general world of the characters. 

Several times in the course of this project the plot has had to change or be reconfigured...some of it is time, some of it has been limitations on what the technology can do and what we ourselves could program. The whole actual story of 6 chapters was originally only the 1st chapter of a completely separate plot that had to be changed after a year of development. That is probably the case for a separate post. It was loosely based on an updated version of the story of Judith and Holofernes; thus many of our themes are a hold over from that era. 

The story has moved away from James' guilt and reconciliation to himself over Jesse's death (though that is still part of it). Much less self-torture. This is a good thing. Mainly because Luke is not the abstract target where he can at last reveal his secret to anymore. Luke is now a more dimensional character with his own insecurities and weaknesses. In creating Luke it was natural for James to act as a foil and paradoxically become the stronger character. The guilt is no longer one way. It is a palpable pulse that extends between them and colors their conversations. Instead of longing to be free of his burden of the past (jesse) the wish referenced here now refers to a wish for a mend in his relationship with Luke...for things to be "what they were" and not as stilted and awkward.  I still really like the symbolic exchange of Luke giving James his mom's book that got destroyed along with Jesse. Even though James receives it here in the conflated dream space, he will still emerge with it on the bridge; thus the book has this great symbolic weight by living again in the real world. 

Still working on how the end is going to announce itself to me as these other pieces fall into place. That part hasn't changed. However, there is no longer going to be a possible suggestion that Luke might be a force behind whatever occurs to James in the end (I specifically mean not a malicious force). That would have never worked anyway. Not sure how I feel about this line in regards to how the controlled implosion of the bridge will end. I need to be careful of not having everything too laced with symbolism all the time:) "He returns from the desert pilgrimage to the literal/symbolic demolition of his guilt and negative aspects in his relationship."

---the mask
that has thankfully been totally written out of the story...too steampunk, melodramatic and not a good idea to begin with. Though I did crazy research on exactly how paranoid these men would have been about "gas", Sarin and the like...all the technical aspects of types/drills...everything...enough to drive anyone to neurosis. This was definitely a very real and present part of their lives. We even own a historically accurate mask and a tiny replica for the original stop-motion (that stop motion scene has also been axed). Aspects of this research are referenced in the extended text scene. But, the idea that Jesse becomes pinned by an i-Beam and then James realizes she's too injured and takes her mask (even though the threat of gas was empty) instead of trying to save her...just doesn't work. It's too weak and wishy washy to show clear/concise character motivations; especially if she was someone he would have loved and wanted to save.

1. Time Frame 

April/May of 1991 This scene is really a conflation between two settings. It is part Jame's actual memories (90s) and part present day processing of these memories (with a blend of southcal). By reshaping/returning to this time frame; he is finally able to discuss Jesse's death with Luke: a conversation that he otherwise could not bring himself to have, either then or now.

 2. Background 

This scene takes place during one of the first times James submits himself to Luke in order to indirectly atone for the incident. The tour of duty in Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm is over for most members of the 18th. Jame's specific training is no longer needed. Yet, despite difficult conditions he signs on to stay under Luke for Operation Provide Comfort. Early on, many soldiers involved were depressed that their service was extended. Therefore, it is unusual to push to stay on in such rugged conditions. As members of an engineer battalion, both men are expected to function in multiple capacities. Not only must they work towards the civil development/planning of refugee camp 1 in Zakho, but they must also go into the desert hills for receiving drops/supplies from landing zones in the middle of Kurdish Guerilla territory. Muscle was often required for supplies to not become contraband; though most drops were quite boring. This is the first time both men have been together alone for several days with nothing to occupy their minds besides the decimating barracks fire. In Jame's memory, their relationship is less strained. There is a sense of warmth and camaraderie that he feels strongly he doesn't deserve, but is unwilling to let go in the aftermath of his shock. In order to fully let go of his shock, he knows that he must talk with Luke about the incident with Jesse at the barracks. Most of his downtime is spent occupied with this unique form of torture. However, he is afraid to do so. More so, he clings to it as way to condemn himself and feels comfortable in the notion he is undeserving. Letting himself forgive himself is perhaps the scariest, most uncertain element. Still show desire to please Luke and indebtedness Luke already KNOWS this whole time.

Current Commentary

Time/Location haven't really changed much; at least until I start re-drafting this scene. It is surprising how aspects of the San Diego Desert are so similar to the region in Zakho that we researched. Whatever dialog we use (as we learned last week, lots of dialog isn't necessarily best for our style or our form) will be much much more minimal than the rough draft I'll post. There is not really a discussion of the death..or a wish that he could tell Luke about it that will come true here. Instead of a secret that is being hidden, any emphasis on this moment will be a wish that they could discuss it more freely and still had the bond they once shared.

None of this background/situation will probably get through beyond tone and the general idea of the camp because it is too direct/on the nose. This could be a wrong impulse. We will have to see. We have a lot more freedom for being direct here than the subtleties in chapter 1 because this scene will be filmed in 3rd person (since James is envisioning his idealized, younger memory self). James no longer feels less deserving of Luke's friendship, but he does still yearn for it and protect it's memory of "warmth". After lengthy, lengthy discussions Danny and I have decided to move from stating classic "hero's journey" plot archs to something more expressive of where the characters are at these times. More character study and less Aristotelian drama. Therefore, the earlier description above will probably lose some of it's intentionality.