Due to the nature of the project and the need to adjust it to the form as we go along, it is reasonable that 70% of the plot will be lost and the main effect will be a representation of basic relationships and expressive tone. A post on this and the struggle to balance them will be mentioned above.
Therefore, in creating the final script or plan for how the work will be edited I have to make sure that at least the lowest bar of communication is reached.
Ideally, assume that most of the intricacies will be lost. What are the impressions and fluctuations in tone that will convey the characters without pushing for the plot?
* We must at least focus on the
relationship between LUKE and JAMES as a meditation on the very real authentic trial and tribulations of friendship.
What are the motivations and emotional resonance that pervade their relationship in this scene:
both men are rather in a state of shock and can't/don't really stop to think about what they've lost. This is the first time they have down time together.
Luke needs reassurance. He needs to be told he did everything right. Under an overwhelming sense of loss, j
ames depends on luke's presence to ground him. Likely, these are notes that I must remember myself when I write this scene. However, the necessity of creating a interaction that seems "authentic" will trump in the edit (and in Danny's preference) the expression of these subtleties.
What follows are basic notes to help ground me in creating this scene
Dialog slips between two spaces before they can talk about Jesse at end.
James enters the scene and immediately settles into a physical routine that he and Luke did together.
What is the physical element they are performing in James mind that helps sink him back into that relationship with Luke?
*
What is the role of Jesse? Is she a very physical presence on the peripheral that both men ignore? Does she cut in and out throughout the scene? Does she seem alive? Is she a body?
1. choices...an action that replays over and over again like both of them folding/unfolding/refolding a tarp..every iteration the conversation changes and gets a little closer to Jesse.
A. James walks into camp. A tent is half set-up. Luke is untangling a large coiled rope or the poles/ropes of a tent. The two men each take an end and converse while untangling the rope..weaving through around each other the conversation. A dim or distant version of jesse circles/walks around the peremeter of the camp the whole time.
B. James returns to camp at sundown and opens the tent to bed down next to Luke. The two talk as the settle in about moving terminology until the conversation extends...jesse's body is lain out in state between them the whole time.
C. James and Luke collect fire wood for the fire. ..after the build the pit at camp...the scene changes to teh vineyard where tehy are among the crosses talking and breaking off pieces for the fire...Jesse can or can not be in the space..the scene returns to camp at the end.
D. similar to what we had before, but are digging sleeping holes. They have one done when James enters the scene to help luke dig the other...same thing with the holes extending outward and Jesse showing up in one for a few frames
E. filling sand bags to make a ring wall around them...they are building a circle structure around themselves as they sit in the midst.
F. a low lying tightrope/closeline has a few items. James and Luke walk up and down it as the balance Jesse between them. They don't acknowledge her.
------- 3-5 min -----------
something at a camp
there is a scene that takes place at night setting up the fire/around the fired
around a fire - mostly just sitting at camp
only part of it making camp.
What is the fucking point of this scene?
-space where James can be close to Luke again.
vast majority talking of nothing of relevance showing the type of relationship James wants them to have.
brief “elements of reality” or of the present day slip into their conversation
giving of the book. Still a symbol of them coming to an understanding of a unspoken closeness them being able to address how they are frustrated with the other.
-j+L talking, fire starts to burn brighter, in the background...jesse’s face flickers..neither acknowkedgge. fire burns down..what remains is book sitting on embers luke reaches in and hands it to James.
Desert Scene Structure
Men talk and or set up camp
Finally settle into being around fire...
James and Luke go from talking about present to mentioning the “good old days”
Jesse sits down next to them. They ignore her as they keep talking...
eventually gets around to her...an understanding is reached
day book in ashes
back to present
“looks like you gutted this place without me”
“yeah can’t seem to let it go”
“That’s all trash”
“yeah well downsizing”
“Alright I’ll go trash it”
phew. this was ridiculously hard. Not sure if the stuff with Jesse should be extended.
EXT. MAKESHIFT DESERT CAMP- EARLY EVENING
At the beginning of this scene James thinks back to various recent interactions with Luke. He has the Luke in his mind repeat them until James settles on the one he likes best. His idealized version of his friendship. Scene starts more distant tense and slowly grows towards camaraderie
JAMES, in his 20s and clean shaven with cropped hair, detours from following railroad tracks in the desert into a small ad hoc army campsite. The landscape is a conflation of Southern California and Zakho Iraq during Operation Provide Comfort. A small tent stands among the desert brush. Various camping debris litter the site and give the impression of recent settlement.
LUKE, mid 20s and clean shaven with cropped hair, stands in the center of the clearing with an e-tool he begins to dig a shallow fire pit. Or *TBD fire activity (or setting up tent). Example: James approaches and picks up a small trovell; he bends down and works in concert with Luke to remove dirt from the pit. The tight space makes the effort of James more hindering than helpful as Luke must work to avoid hitting his hands.
Luke and James dig in silence for 20 seconds. James Looks up (scene is rewound???) James re-enters the campsite as if coming upon it for the first time. Repeat *TBD fire activity
LUKE
(*TBD)
. . . going back east, there’s this job. Demolition and inspection of a
Rolling Lift Bridge, nothing too big, but pays well. Should set you up, enough to get your shit together, settle down. After, If you’re still good, well . . . maybe we’ll talk more.
Rolling Lift Bridge, nothing too big, but pays well. Should set you up, enough to get your shit together, settle down. After, If you’re still good, well . . . maybe we’ll talk more.
James Looks up (scene is rewound???) James re-enters the campsite as if coming upon it for the first time. Repeat *TBD fire activity
LUKE
(*TBD)
. . . stack those by the wall and lay the TV flat. A few thick blankets should do it. Watch for scuffing on that corner. We can give this thing a boost. Almost done in time for the game. I was thinking that next Saturday we should go. Sure, Sure. Got a few company seats left. Yeah, still twelve dollar beers. Wait, might have to bring the kid somewhere. . .
James Looks up (scene is rewound???) James re-enters the campsite as if coming upon it for the first time. Repeat *TBD fire activity
LUKE
(*TBD)
. . . turned the shower on half way. Out came this steaming red fruity smell. I swear you should’ve seen your expression. Even your ass was dripping with kool aid. Man, we laughed so hard. Those were the days.
JAMES
Those were.
Scene continues setting up of fire? how do we get from this point to talking around fire...should beginning of following conversation happen during the end of building fire?
like so??
LUKE
We were such cherries. Newbies. Man, you should have seen your face.
JAMES
I washed kool aid from my hair for a full week. Never asked you how you pulled that off.
LUKE
Powder in the shower head.
Genius in simplicity my friend, genius in simplicity.
JAMES
Do you remember those guys and the ID-10T forms? I think we had more simplicity than geniuses at basic.
LUKE
(short barking laugh)
Basic is the word. Doesn’t take a GED to be a grunt. You remember when we short sheeted those drunk bastards?
JAMES
Hey now, I just supervised.
LUKE
want to make this line feel more present somehow?
Haven’t seen those guys since the wedding. Nice to remember back to before In-Country.
Pause. Either at this point or sometime in the above conversation, the fire has been finished and the men relax before it during a few seconds of silence.
LUKE
Never asked about the first thing you did, back in Montana. I got home, went upstairs. You know what I did? I sat on the bathroom floor and flushed the toilet over and over. Damn It felt good.
JAMES
Probably took a shower and signed up for an anti-smoking program or something.
LUKE
(a warm humor)
Ha, those things will kill you. Well, if this doesn’t.
LUKE (CONT’D)
(more to himself, reflective)
Got super busy, with dad’s job. Had the good sense to call, meant to, just. . .
Jesse enters to sit between the two men and is still as she gazes past the fire into the distance. (She is unacknowledged by the two men for the whole scene. She exists as a reminder that remains in their vicinity rather than a fully formed character.)
JAMES
(shrugs)
You did, eventually.
James pokes the fire with dead brush. The two sit in silence for a bit.
LUKE
(forcing lightness, a jovial tone, trying to recapture the previous atmosphere)
Hey now, remember when we went to . . .
JAMES
(Interrupts. focusing on the fire)
You went to Fitchburg, right?
Jesse stirs between them.
LUKE
Yeah I did. . . had to. Saw her family.
JAMES
I don’t know what to say. I wanted to. I want to. Invite you, instead. Look just, I mean, just come to Montana instead. It’s nice in Spring. Melting Snow floods the Missouri. Hell, we can kayak right to the door of any bar on the banks.
LUKE
(closing his eyes, tired)
James.
LUKE (CONT’D)
(closing his eyes, tired)
My old man’s expecting me. Says, he’s got a few ACE jobs. I’ll put in a good word and. . .
James turns his head to really look at Luke past Jesse. Luke also looks at James directly. Perhaps an over the shoulder shot with Jesse’s profile between the two men??
JAMES
Not your fault.
LUKE
(countering quickly)
Not yours.
Luke and James hold each other’s eyes for a few minutes intensely before bursting into laughter.
EXT. MAKESHIFT DESERT CAMP- EARLY MORNING
this scene needs a bit more work, but I need at least a few hours of distance.
SCENE transitions to exact same position for Luke and James. The fire is out and Jesse is gone. In the ashes of the fire Arlene’s book (the scrapbook James kept of his mother that Jesse died retrieving). Luke reaches into the ashes and cleans off the book before handing it to James.
LUKE
(returning book to James)
So. . . I’ll be seeing you.
James takes the book from Luke the exchange is made carefully, delicately. After James tenderly examines the book for damage he holds it to his chest.
JAMES
(soft smile)
Yeah, you will. You’re here.
James turns to leave heading back towards the direction he approached the camp from the desert tracks. Luke is about to say something but he clearly hesitates.
LUKE
(warm, almost shy)
. . . and James. Don’t think this changes anything. You may be my buddy, but I still gotta fire you.
JAMES
(smiling back)
I know. I know.
James leaves the camp and returns to the present through the desert railroad tracks.
END
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